The other day, I was sitting in the kitchen when my roommates came back from the grocery store. One of them proudly said to the other, “Look, I made sure I got the peanut butter in a glass jar instead of a single-use plastic one!” My other roommate looked at the jar and then replied, “Great, but it has palm oil in it. That’s even worse.” Dejectedly, my first roommate sighed and put the jar in the pantry.
This got me thinking. It’s hard these days to do every little thing exactly “right.” With the rise of social media, we’re aware of so many more problems and issues in the world. While I think that’s amazing and good, it’s also (admittedly) hard to keep up with. There are so many choices that people emphatically endorse: decreasing single-use plastic, avoiding palm oil, eating vegan, composting… the list goes on and on. Everybody in America has (or will) experience lifestyle shaming in some way or another.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying these things aren’t important. Of course I want to improve and protect our planet. The thought of orphan orangutans will literally make me tear up sometimes, and that video of a sea turtle with a straw in its nose was truly horrifying. We have a responsibility to be more conscious of how we live our lives, but realistically speaking, we can’t solve literally every problem at once. And judging people on their perceived shortfalls based on your own life priorities isn’t helping.
My roommate Regan runs a blog called AlteredEco where she writes about her Zero Waste journey and gives tips on how you can live a little more consciously. She and I were talking about this recently and she said something that I think really drives the point home. She said, “You just have to focus on what you can do, and do it.” If that means that you’re going to make an effort to stop using plastic straws, great. If that means you’ll switch to reusable grocery bags, wonderful. You’re making an informed and alert decision to change something in your life, and that’s spectacular. If we push ourselves a little more each time we get comfortable, that’s even better.
One thing I really admire about Regan is how judgement-free she is. She is the most eco-conscious person I know, but she’s never made me feel like she was looking down on me for anything I did. She talked to me about the things I saw her doing, like wrapping her leftovers is wax cloth instead of cling wrap, and told me why she thought it was important. And I started picking up a few of the things she did. I bought reusable straws for the office and have switched to cans of sparkling water over plastic bottles. She didn’t ask me to do those things, but seeing how easy it was for her to do it was inspiring. Realizing how eco-conscious she was made me embarrassed of how little I was doing, and even though that wasn’t her goal, it was good for me.
Not everyone is going to think what you’re doing is enough. That’s just reality. But thinking about the intentions of your actions can help you put a buffer between the guilt you feel being called out and the pride you feel in what you’re working toward. When people try to judge you, don’t get discouraged. Just do what you can, and eventually you may find that you can do more. Just remember- doing something is helpful, even if it’s not doing everything.
