When I made my big career switch and moved to DC from Alabama, I hesitantly resigned to the fact that I’d have to go from living alone (🙌) to living with other people (😕). I’ve lived with other people lots of times before, but I’m the type of person who would rather have their own space. I was worried that my life would be miserable. Luckily, I was wrong, and so far things are going well! If you’re worried about sharing your space with other people, here are some tips on how to live with roommates.
Communicate
This is number one- communicate early, and communicate often. If one of your roommates has a habit you can’t stand or does something you don’t like, tell them as soon as you get a chance. Otherwise, it will just build up, and they’ll keep doing it! Here’s a good example: I had a roommate once who never did the dishes. Instead of just asking him to try to be better about cleaning his pots, I just let it stew. I ended up washing his dishes for him often (because I needed them), which just made me resent him. It was a simple problem that could have been nipped in the bud early, but instead it put a strain on our relationship.
It’s also really important to watch your tone when talking about house things. Don’t judge or scold, because that will just make it worse. Simply say there’s something you want to talk about as a house, and then work together to get through it.
Keep a roommate calendar
This is a small thing, but my house has a calendar in the kitchen where people write down when they’ll be out of town. This saves us from being scared to death in the middle of the night by the door opening or floorboards creaking. It’s also good for any planning like parties or dinners, so you don’t plan events on the same day.
Sharing is caring (unless it’s not)
Make sure you are very clear about what you’re sharing and what you’re not. I live with three other people, but we only have one fridge. For that reason, we share some of the kitchen basics like milk, butter, eggs, olive oil etc. Could you imagine if we had FOUR of each spice?! And just because you think something should be communal, doesn’t mean everyone agrees. It wouldn’t be great if you were using everyone’s shampoo just to learn they think of it as stealing. Just… have the conversation. Trust me!
Make your own space
I would go crazy if I didn’t have my own space. We share almost every room in the house, but my bedroom is my own personal oasis. It looks how I like, it’s as clean as I like, it smells how I like, and I can do whatever I like in there. Since I had enough stuff to furnish my own apartment when I moved up here, I actually have my own TV in my room, which has been an absolute GAME CHANGER. I don’t have to haggle and barter to watch what I want, and I can turn it on to whatever (true crime) show I like without fear of judgement. I also have a white noise machine in my room, which has been great for when I head up to bed earlier than my roommates. So absolute worst case scenario, you can escape to your room and feel comfortable.
I know that living with other people, sometimes strangers, isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But there are a lot of positives, too! For example, my roommates sometimes agree to watch my dog so I can take a class after work or grab a drink with a friend. If they’re out of town, I often move their car so they don’t get parking tickets on street sweeping days. And hey, bills are split four ways. So stay positive and you may even find you prefer living with other people!
